Let's talk about goals. Like, real life person goals, not character goals. It is the new year after all. For me, as a student, the new year doesn't feel like it really starts until second semester starts which isn't for three days so I'm not late at all. I won't be defined by your calendar.
Anyway, goals. We all make them, not just around New Year's but all the time. Little goals, like 'I will not miss class' and bigger ones like 'I want to lose weight' or 'I want to get a really good grade in this class'.
If you're anything like me, some of those big goals turn out to be a lot easier than you thought. And those little goals morph into the biggest mountains you've ever seen. Metaphorically speaking.
When I was younger, writing was just something I did because I enjoyed it. I used it to escape, to go live in places more exciting than Boise, Idaho. I used it to entertain myself. Don't get me wrong, sometimes that still happens but now I am older. I won't go so far as to say 'wiser'- I'd settle for 'slightly less naive.'
There are a lot of results from this but the big one is this: now, writing isn't just an escape. It is work. Enjoyable work but work nonetheless. Why? Because I have decided I want to be good at something and no one excels at something without working at it. Don't argue with me- it's true. People a lot older and a hell of a lot wiser than me have said so.
So writing isn't as much fun anymore. Thus, writing has become a goal. In my head, still stuck in the high school mindset that writing is just for fun, I see it as a little goal. It's not. It's a big honking Sisyphean goal. It's got other, slightly less enormous goals attached to it. Like revising.
My goal isn't even really to write that much. My goal is to revise. I have two books that need work. One is more about fine-tuning and the other is in its very rough first form. In the case of the latter, I will get to do a lot of writing because I've got a lot to add.
So how am I going to do this?
That is an excellent question. The first step is I am telling you, Internet, that I am going to do it. This creates accountability. Because I'll feel bad if I don't do something I committed to doing to someone other than myself. This is a trick I use when I need motivation to go for a run on the weekends. It works like a charm for a lot of other stuff too. Humans hate to feel humiliated more than they hate to do uncomfortable things.
My second step is this: I am going to start off slow. A few pages at a time. Because revising is like running a marathon. You can't start out running twelve miles to train for it. You've gotta put in those three and four mile runs to condition yourself. I really need a different metaphor but oh well.
The third part of my expertly devised plan is this: I am going to reward myself for finishing drafts. When I finish another draft (I've lost track of the number, how great is that?) of Black & Gold and the second draft of Crown & Claw, I will buy myself something. Not sure what it's going to be yet but it cannot be a necessity. Otherwise it isn't a reward.
I know there are other people out there with goals on the struggle bus with me. Maybe my plan isn't perfect but if nothing else, I take comfort in this: I will get it done. Because even if nothing else, I want that shiny, new, pretty draft to start in on with my pretty purple pen.
Why not a red pen, you ask?
Because red pen looks like blood all over the page and who wants that stressful shit when you've already got a decimated novel on your hands?
Then why purple, you ask? Why not blue or green or just plain black?
Because fuck you society, I won't live my life your rules and a purple pen is how I choose to express my individuality.
Okay, I should probably go to bed now because unpacking stresses me out and tomorrow I'm moving furniture around and--
Stopping now. Happy New Year, everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment